Month: December 2012

  • Birthdays are like busses, never the number you want.

  • When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.

  • Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

  • Radioactive halibut will make fission chips.

  • The directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. It could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. It sounded like this: Look. Listen. Choose. Act. ~ Barbara Hall

  • When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

  • I wish I had a dime for every dime I’ve had.

  • Smile is the way to solve many problems.  Silence is the way to avoid many problems.

  • Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude. ~ Ralph Marston

  • A marriage anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~ Paul Sweeney

  • The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. ~ Oscar Wilde

  • Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. ~ Robert Frost

  • He’s the world’s greatest proof of reincarnation–no one could get that dumb in just one lifetime.

  • I have an intense desire to return to the womb.  Anybody’s. ~ Woody Allen

  • I’m not the man I used to be, so why should I have to pay his debts? ~ Gary Apple

  • Courtship, n.:  that period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do better.

  • Schizophrenia may be a necessary consequence of literacy. ~ Marshall Mcluhan

  • Jokes are grievances. ~ Marshall Mcluhan

  • For tribal man space was the uncontrollable mystery. For technological man it is time that occupies the same role. ~ Marshall Mcluhan

  • Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got. ~ Art Buchwald

  • The conservative who resists change is as valuable as the radical [liberal] who proposes it. ~ Ariel Durant

  • It may be true that you can’t fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country. ~ Will Durant

  • When liberty destroys order the hunger for order will destroy liberty. ~ Will Durant

  • I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. ~ Garry Shandling

  • The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority. ~ Will Durant