Month: March 2012

  • I can’t mate in captivity. ~ Gloria Steinem (on why she has never married)

  • It’s not reality or how you perceive things that’s important—it’s what you’re taking for it…

  • Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others. ~ Kin Hubbard

  • You’re a primate. Get over it.

  • I’ve come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies.  Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just part of the way the world works.  Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you…

  • Edwards’ Law:  You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem.

  • If I had all the money I’d spent on drink, I’d spend it on drink. ~ Sir Henry Rawlinson

  • I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint. ~ Mark Twain

  • I see little difference between the government taking over the companies and the companies taking over the government. ~ slashdot

  • I had an appointment to see my psychic next week but she called and told me that I wouldn’t be able to make it.

  • To me, it’s always easy to choose between the infinite, the ultimate, and chocolate. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

  • My wife believes that a romantic setting has a diamond in it.

  • The biggest problem in Nashville is trying to find clean words that rhyme with “truck.”

  • The written word can be erased–not so with the spoken word.

  • Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

  • To be or not to be… I think it’s a trick question.

  • I thought I’d forget you, but I guess I forgot to.

  • A bigot is a narrow-minded man who thinks the straight and narrow path isn’t narrow enough.

  • Great Female “Comebacks”

    Man:  “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” Woman:  “Do not Enter!”   Man:  “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason.” Woman:  “Yeah!  Let’s pick up some chicks!”   Man:  “Hey, cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?” Woman:  “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species..”   Man: …

  • Welcome to the Republican Party….

    A young teenage girl was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself a very liberal Democrat but her father was a rather staunch Republican. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to taxes and welfare programs.   He stopped her and asked her how she was…

  • Geez if you believe in honkus.

  • A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job. ~ Zig Ziglar

  • We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. ~ H. L. Mencken

  • Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites? ~ H. L. Mencken

  • Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of. ~ H. L. Mencken