Month: April 2011

  • Truth and simplicity are inversely related.  

  • Being in politics is like being a football coach;  you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important. ~ Eugene McCarthy  

  • A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth. ~ Michael Kinsley  

  • A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.    ++  

  • Urologists don’t have to advertise.  They just open up an office and the patients come trickling in.  

  • What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?  A receding hare line.  

  • Why did the gum cross the road?  It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.  

  • What do you call small apartments that you rent out for free?  Stay free mini pads.  

  • Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~ Plato  

  • Reason has seldom failed us because it has seldom been tried. ~ Edward Abbey  

  • I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as the greatest of dangers.  To preserve our independence, we must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. ~ Thomas Jefferson

  • For NASA, space is still a high priority.  ~ Dan Quayle    ++  

  • Even a dog distinguishes between being stumbled over and being kicked. ~  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.  

  • Be wise to-day; ’tis madness to defer. ~ Edward Young  

  • The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom. ~ Isaac Asimov  

  • Blame St. Andreas–it’s his fault.  

  • Ever wish you had a copy of tomorrow’s newspaper?  

  • Every time I get on a ferry it makes me cross.  

  • Every time I hear the phone, it’s ringing.  

  • Falling in love is awfully simple, but falling out of love is simply awful. ~ Bess Myerson  

  • From sharp minds come…pointed heads.  

  • The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. ~ Bertrand Russell     ++  

  • Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. ~ Booker T. Washington  

  • It takes less time to do a thing right than to explain why you did it wrong. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow  

  • Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands–and then eat just one of the pieces. ~ Judith Viorst     ++