Month: October 2010

  • Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. ~ Edward De Bono

  • Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. ~ H. L. Mencken

  • Freedom of press is limited to those who own one. ~ H. L. Mencken

  • Q: What is George W. Bush’s position on Roe v Wade? A: He doesn’t care how black people leave New Orleans. ~ Anonymous

  • I used to wonder what was so holy about a silent night, now I have a child. ~ Anonymous

  • Christ is so cool. He’s born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy. ~ Anonymous

  • I am erotic. You are kinky. They are perverts. ~ Anonymous

  • It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away. ~ Anonymous

  • Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ~ Anonymous

  • You know you’re getting older when you frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost. ~ Anonymous

  • You know you’re getting older You don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along. ~ Anonymous

  • You know you’re getting older Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. ~ Anonymous

  • You know you’re getting older when…90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. ~ Anonymous

  • If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

  • You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! ~ Anonymous

  • Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

  • Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.    ++

  • How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? ~ Anonymous

  • Honk if you love peace and quiet.

  • Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy. ~ Anonymous

  • Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your…? ~ Anonymous

  • Always try to be modest and be proud of it! ~ Anonymous

  • There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

  • My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

  • I used to believe in forever . . . but forever was too good to be true. ~ Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne