January 2015
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Day January 29, 2015

You can’t be that good; you work for me.

Do you think sheep know when you’re pulling the wool over their eyes?

The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man. ~ Chesterton

Blow your mind — smoke gunpowder.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Turtles never hurdle.

If you say something stupid and no one disagrees, then you know you’re the boss. ~ Phil Simborg

It’s funny that pirates were always going around searching for treasure, and they never realized that the real treasure was the fond memories they were creating.  ~ Jack Handey

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position. ~ Christopher Marlow

Last week Human Resources said they were going to garnish my wages.  Call me dense, but I fail to see how a sprig of parsley in my paycheck will make it any more attractive.  ~ David Henry

Psychic:  An individual having an uncanny, seemingly supernatural, talent for extracting money from morons. ~ Charles Bufe

Today’s pay slip has more deductions than a Sherlock Holmes novel.  ~ Raymond Cvikota

We know there is a problem with communication but we are not going to discuss it in front of the entire staff. ~ Anonymous

Money makes money and the money money makes makes money. ~ Benjamin Franklin

The person who writes the bank’s commercials is not the person who makes the loans.

A committee of three can accomplish much if two don’t show up.

Everybody wants to build but nobody wants to maintain. ~ Vonnegut