February 2014
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Day February 24, 2014

Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

You know you are getting old when you realize that a stamp today costs more than a picture show did when you were a kid.

You know you’re getting older when you buy trousers with the waist size larger than the length.

I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.

IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

In the pasture of life, don’t be a cow pie.

In communism, man oppresses man. In capitalism, it’s the other way around. ~ John Kenneth Galbraith

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. ~ Franklin P. Jones

Countless numbers of people have eaten in our kitchen and went on to live perfectly normal lives.

When your outgo exceeds your income your upkeep will be your downfall.

Today is the day I worried about yesterday and everything is OK.

Death is not extinguishing the light. It is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.

When we die we leave behind us all that we have and take with us all that we are. ~ Anonymous

Always buy good shoes and a good bed, because if you aren’t in one, you’re in the other.

All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those who are movable; and those who move. ~ Benjamin Franklin

A man who thinks he is smarter than his wife has a very smart wife!

America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.