December 2013
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Month December 2013

Employees who must walk on eggshells move slowly.

Behind the firewall, everyone’s naked.

If it’s not brain science, it’s rocket surgery.

When you consider that the sky starts at your feet, think how brave we are just to walk around. ~ Diane Ackerman

So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!

There’s more pressure on a vet to get it right. People say ‘It was God’s will’ when Granny dies, but they get angry when they lose a cow. ~ Terry Pratchett

If I gave a shit, you’d be the first person I’d give it to.

By the taping of my glasses, something geeky this way passes.

She was like chocolate when she drank… semi sweet at first and then bitter as she drank more.

Nine times out of ten, when people say myself or yourself they should say me or you.

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. ~ Thomas Carlyle

I am not merely a “consumer” or a “taxpayer”.  I am a Citizen of the United States of America.

My theory is that when people say they’re ROTFL they aren’t actually OTF, and probably not even R.

Does power corrupt or does power attract the corruptible?

Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness. ~ M. Hirschfield

Computers allow humans to make mistakes at the fastest speeds known, with the possible exception of tequila and handguns.

My life so far has been a long series of things I wasn’t ready for. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

Confirmed bachelor: A man who goes through life without a hitch.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

No brains, no headache.

Whining is anger through a small opening. ~ Stuart Smalley

Today, you have 100% of your life left. ~ Tom Landry

When you blame others you give up your power to change. ~ Anonymous

You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.

You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them. ~ Michael Jordan

A closed mouth gathers no feet. ~ Anonymous

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. ~ Ayn Rand

A wise monkey never monkeys with another monkey’s monkey. ~ Anonymous

Books may well be the only true magic. ~ Alice Hoffman

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am master of my fate and captain of my soul. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

God gave us two ends–one to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use. Head you win, tail you lose. ~ Anonymous

If I’m not home, accepting what I can’t change, I’m probably out, changing what I can’t accept. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

If you want your dreams to come true, don’t oversleep. ~ Yiddish Proverb

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~ W. Edwards Deming

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. ~ Jules Renard

Never fight an inanimate object. ~ P. J. O’Rourke

Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit. ~ Vince Lombardi

We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing. ~ Anonymous