October 2013
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Month October 2013

You never see the bad days in a photo album but it’s those days that get us from one happy snapshot to the next.

There are three ways a man can be ruined: women, gambling, and farming. My father chose the most boring. ~ Pope John XXIII

Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?

And on the eighth day God said, “O.K. Murphy. You take over.”

Is it possible to be a closet claustrophobic?

Frogs have it easy. They can eat what bugs them.

Anger is one letter short of danger.

The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart. ~ Josiah G. Holland

You are wise, witty, and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of trash.

Sometimes I simply feel that the whole world is a cigarette and I’m the only ashtray.

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny yet measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth’s surface. This would explain the death […]

Promises are like babies: fun to make, but hell to deliver.

Do you know that if all the smokers were laid end to end around the world, three quarters of them would drown?

Anybody can grab a tiger by the tail. You only survive by knowing what to do next.