June 2013
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Day June 22, 2013

I want it clearly understood that I’m totally confused.

Copy and paste this into your status if you’re tired of people copying and pasting stuff in their status.

Ever run up to a stranger on the street and say “YOU’RE IT!” and then run away?

I use a Bluetooth headset in public so that I can talk to the voices in my head without drawing attention.

I knew a girl who went to Beauty College and flunked cosmetics. They let her take a make up exam.

To those who think that the law of gravity interferes with their freedom, there is nothing to say. ~ Lionel Tiger

When I buy pistachio nuts, I never waste my time prying open those nuts which are completely closed. It’s more productive to spend my time with those that are partially open and willing to be opened further. And so it is with people’s minds. ~ Michael Zarlenga

The bumper sticker… is secular America’s Book of Proverbs. ~ John Shea

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I’d like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system. ~ Jack Handey

50% of doctors graduated in the BOTTOM HALF of their class.

  You ever look up the word dictionary in a dictionary? A little hand comes out and smacks you one.

You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don’t think there’s really any oxygen. I think they’re just to muffle the screams. ~ Rita Rudner

Children have always looked up to cowboys as role models. And vice versa.

I’m a Virgo.  We Virgo’s don’t believe in all this Astrology stuff.

You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m.at a speed of 35 mph.

O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for Thou knowest we will never change our minds. ~ Anonymous

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right? ~ Charles M. Schulz

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can stop him from lynching me, and I think that’s pretty important. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Correction does much, but encouragement does more. ~ Goethe

Reducing an issue to black and white clears the way for violence.  ~ Anonymous

If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear. ~ George Orwell