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Day June 7, 2013

We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way. ~ Phillip E. Bernstein

I think….

I think, therefore I am. ~ Decartes I think, therefore I am, I think. I doubt, therefore I might be. I don’t think so, therefore I’m probably not. I forget, therefore I was. I drink therefore I am. ~ W. C. Fields I think, therefore I am single. Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. (I think […]

I did an unbelievable amount of work in the yard. It’s amazing what you can do when your wife puts your mind to it.

Are there any experienced suicide bombers?

What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.

There are days when it takes all you’ve got just to keep up with the losers.~ Robert Orben

If Murphy’s law can go wrong it will.

Even a short pencil is more reliable then the longest memory.

It is never easy being a mother.  If it were easy, fathers would do it.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

It is better to sleep on what you intend doing than to stay awake over what you’ve done.

Age is to women like Kryptonite is to Superman. ~ Kathy Lette

The hardest part of business is minding your own.

Facebook is starting to be like my fridge; I know nothing is there but I keep checking it anyway…

The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead. ~ Jeff Shaw

If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. ~ Alice Roosevelt Longworth

I fear vastly more a futile, incompetent old age than I do any form of death.  ~ William Allen White

I’ve decided I’d like to get to know you all a lot better. Let’s start with banking information.

Why is it difficult to open a piano? Because all the keys are inside!

My mind is elsewhere today. Wish I was with it.

Real Men don’t get defensive when they learn that not everybody shares their enthusiasm for Apple products.

If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?

Without me, it’s just aweso.

We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins. ~ Robin Williams

One of the most time-consuming things is to have an enemy. ~ E. B. White

Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. ~ Tom Lehrer

Trouble is the common denominator of living. It is the great equalizer. ~ Soren Kierkegaard

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life ahead of you. ~ Jane Wagner