March 2013
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
« Feb   Apr »

Day March 25, 2013

Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.

Last week, I went to a furniture store to look for a decaffeinated coffee table.

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Is your holier side your altar ego?

What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit? Bugs Bunny.

Screw in a light-bulb?

Q: How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a suprising twist at the end.   Q: How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? A: One.   Q: […]

On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was…surrounded by trees and bushes.

Six Groaners

Q.  Why can’t a woman ask for help from her brother? A.  He can’t be a brother and assist her, too.   Q.  What do TV reporters wear under their pants? A.  News briefs   Q.  What do frogs wear for a night out on the town? A.  Jumpsuits.   Q.  How can you tell […]

Many of our ambitions are nipped in the budget.

If it’s the thought that counts, think money.

PRENATAL:  When your life was still somewhat your own.

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” His son asked, “What happened to the flea?”

So, do you comb hair often?

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

Someone from the Gyno Colleges called.  They said the Pabst Beer is fine.  I thought you didn’t like beer?”  (note left by a husband)

If you saw with a sawhorse, do you seesaw with a seahorse?

Half-aloof is better than none.