November 2012
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Month November 2012

Church is not a museum for saints, but rather a hospital for sinners. ~ Ann Landers

I can’t give you brains, but I can give you a diploma. ~ The Wizard of OZ

If I want your opinion, I’ll read your entrails. ~ Doug Shewfelt

GPS is just another excuse for men not to ask for directions. ~ Richard Horwitz

I called the Census Bureau to see why they hadn’t sent me a form, and they said that I was too nondescript to influence the demographics one way or another. ~ Liz Stokes

Our reasoning goes something like this:  “If I want it, I need it.  If I need it, it’s my right.  If it’s my right, someone should give it to me.  Or else I’ll sue.” ~ Newsweek June 27, 1994

It may occur to you to wonder, what if Jesus had actually said, “The geek shall inherit the earth,” but was just misquoted?  Then you’ll start to worry…

The universe does not have laws–it has habits, and habits can be broken.  

Nothing screams ‘poor workmanship’ like wrinkles in the duct tape.

My new dress. Do you like it? It’s from my favorite designer: On Sale.~ Rita Rudner

The trouble with words is that you never know whose mouth they’ve been in. ~ Dennis Potter

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. ~ Budd Schulberg