September 2012
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Month September 2012

It’s useless to try to hold some people to anything they say while they’re madly in love, drunk, or running for office.

Life is rich. Stay hungry, my friend.

I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I’m terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar…

I respect your right to believe whatever you like.  I have no respect FOR your belief.

Being a mime means never having to say you’re sorry.

Life is a monkey flinging feces and candy. The trick is figuring out when to dodge and when to catch.

If I’d asked the customers what they wanted, they would have said; A faster horse. ~ Henry Ford

Removing the straw that broke the camel’s back does not necessarily allow the camel to walk again.

Artificial intelligence has the same relation to intelligence as artificial flowers have to flowers. ~ David Parnas

Trifles go to make perfection, and perfection is no trifle. ~ Michaelangelo

Before we work on artificial intelligence why don’t we do something about natural stupidity? ~Steve Polyak

And with the morn those angel faces smile Which I have loved long since and lost awhile. ~ John Henry Newman

There is no definition of a Good day or Bad day. It all depends on you and your thoughts, that either you run the day or the day runs you.

Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it. ~ George Orwell

Remember, being an opponent is not the same as being an enemy. ~ Anonymous

There are men who can think no deeper than a fact. ~ Voltaire

The reverse side also has a reverse side. ~ Japanese Proverb

It is not enough to aim; you must hit. ~ Italian Proverb

That’s the secret to life…replace one worry with another…. ~ Charlie Brown

We all have a childhood dream that when there is love, everything goes like silk, but the reality is that marriage requires a lot of compromise. ~ Raquel Welch

In the binary system we count on our fists instead of on our fingers.

If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause?

Some people just don’t know how to drive: I call these people, “Everybody but me.”

If you love any of your rights, defend all of them.

Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn’t developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don’t expect to see. ~ Douglas Adams

It’s not enough to love the flowers, you have to hate the weeds.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft…and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. ~  Werner von Braun

Personally, I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught. ~ Winston Churchill

It’s a pity stupidity isn’t painful.

We all have strength to endure the misfortunes of others. ~ Foucault

I don’t think you should be held responsible for the things you say to fill awkward silences.

I’m not going to make any age-related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

It takes one to know one–and vice versa! ~ Alfred E. Neuman

Getting old is when a narrow waist and a broad mind change places! ~ Alfred E. Neuman

In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated! ~ Alfred E. Neuman

Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. ~ T. S. Eliot

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. ~ John Lithgow  

Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. ~ Taylor Swift

If I’ve learned nothing else, it’s that time and practice equal achievement. ~ Andre Agassi

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going. ~ Beverly Sills

Wealth is the product of man’s ability to think. ~ Ayn Rand

Lack of money is the root of all evil. ~ George Bernard Shaw

The difference between rich people and poor people is that poor people spend money and then save what’s left; rich people save their money and spend what’s left. ~ Jim Rohn

The soul does not give up to despair until it has exhausted all illusions. ~ Victor Hugo

When people go through something rough in life, they say, “I’m taking it one day at a time.”  Yes, so is everybody.  Because that’s how time works. ~ Hannibal Buress

There’s nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face. ~ Eva Hoffman

The truth needs so little rehearsal. ~ Barbara Kingsolver

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re in the right. ~ Ricky Gervais

It would be interesting to find out what goes on in that moment when someone looks at you and draws all sorts of conclusions. ~ Malcolm Gladwell