June 2012
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
« May   Jul »

Day June 6, 2012

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. ~ Calvin Coolidge

Wouldn’t it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? ~ Elayne Boosler

When the sun comes up, I have morals again. ~ Elayne Boosler

I’m just a person trapped inside a woman’s body. ~ Elayne Boosler

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. ~ Josh Billings

3 quickie bar jokes: Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks. A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar. A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

Success is the maximum utilization of the ability that you have. ~ Zig Ziglar

Welfare is not a retirement plan.

Not all those that wander are lost. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

When you feel dog-tired at night, it may be because you growled all day long

A true Southerner knows exactly how long “directly” is–as in, “Going to town, be back directly.”

A true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of “yonder.”

Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver. ~ William James

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But…it is better to be good than to be ugly. ~ Oscar Wilde

If we men married the woman we deserve, we should have a very tedious time of it. ~ Oscar Wilde

I saw a dentist and a manicurist fight tooth and nail.

They said you were a great asset. I told them they were off by two letters.

Mr/Ms Politician, before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

I recommend you go to a palmist rather than a mind reader.  I know you have a palm.

Why is your index finger the same size as your nostrils?

Why get even, when you can get odd?

Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?

You can always find a capable helping hand at the end of your own sleeve. ~ Zig Ziglar

There are two ways to climb an oak tree. You can climb it, or you can sit on an acorn and wait for it to grow. ~ Anonymous

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.  An optimist is a man who hopes they are.  ~ Chauncey Mitchell Depew