March 2012
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Day March 25, 2012

To me, it’s always easy to choose between the infinite, the ultimate, and chocolate. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

My wife believes that a romantic setting has a diamond in it.

The biggest problem in Nashville is trying to find clean words that rhyme with “truck.”

The written word can be erased–not so with the spoken word.

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

To be or not to be… I think it’s a trick question.

I thought I’d forget you, but I guess I forgot to.

A bigot is a narrow-minded man who thinks the straight and narrow path isn’t narrow enough.

Great Female “Comebacks”

Man:  “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?” Woman:  “Do not Enter!”   Man:  “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason.” Woman:  “Yeah!  Let’s pick up some chicks!”   Man:  “Hey, cutie, how ’bout you and I hitting the hot spots?” Woman:  “Sorry, I don’t date outside my species..”   Man:  […]

Welcome to the Republican Party….

A young teenage girl was about to finish her first year of college. She considered herself a very liberal Democrat but her father was a rather staunch Republican. One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to taxes and welfare programs.   He stopped her and asked her how she was […]

Geez if you believe in honkus.

A lot of people quit looking for work as soon as they find a job. ~ Zig Ziglar

We must respect the other fellow’s religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. ~ H. L. Mencken

Suppose two-thirds of the members of the national House of Representatives were dumped into the Washington garbage incinerator tomorrow, what would we lose to offset our gain of their salaries and the salaries of their parasites? ~ H. L. Mencken

Hanging one scoundrel, it appears, does not deter the next. Well, what of it? The first one is at least disposed of. ~ H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution. ~ H. L. Mencken

Ideas don’t stay in some minds for long because they don’t like solitary confinement.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ~ Dave Barry

If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you are right and you shut up, you’re married.