January 2012
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Day January 1, 2012

Q: Give the meaning of the term “Caesarian Section” A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.  

Q: What does “varicose” mean? A: Nearby.  

Dear GOD:  What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything. ~ Jane, age 8  

Rhubarb (n):  a kind of celery gone bloodshot.

Germinate (v):  to become a naturalized German.  

The ankle was an arch enemy of the heel because the heel had a sole that could neither toe the line nor keep instep. ~ Anonymous

He’s so honest you can shoot dice with him on the telephone. ~ Dan Rather  

I can’t decide if indecision is good or bad. ~ Russell Causey  

You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger. ~ Robert Paul  

Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit. ~ Frank McKinney Hubbard  

A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark. ~ proverb  

Nothing will work unless you do. ~ Maya Angelou  

Impotence: nature’s way of saying,”No hard feelings.”  

What do you do for a living? You are living, aren’t you?  

This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.~ Samuel Johnson  

The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. ~ Richard Braunstein  

Scotch… Because one doesn’t solve the world’s problems over white wine.  

Let us so live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry. ~ Mark Twain  

It was all so different before everything changed.

I try to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.  

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It is your attitude and not your aptitude that determines your altitude. ~ Zig Ziglar