December 2011
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Day December 25, 2011

I love working on days like this. If I was off, I’d just get sunburned and drink too much. Thanks work, for looking out for me.  

I just rolled my eyes out loud. Not everyone can do it.  

I’ve always been taught to be patient, but now I’m worried that I’m just encouraging idiots to waste people’s time.

I’m proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. ~ Arthur Godfrey

Nobody can be just like me. Even I have trouble.

Yes, I get funny looks. I like funny looks.  

Make money fast: don’t give it any food.  

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men–from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes  

Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian, wine and tarragon make it French, sour cream makes it Russian, lemon and cinnamon make it Greek, soy sauce makes it Chinese, garlic makes it good. ~ Alice May Brock  

Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination. ~ Marcel Proust  

I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. ~ George Meredith  

Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big, big trouble. ~ Doctor Leon  

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. ~ Yogi Berra  

There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today. ~ Mignon McLaughlin  

Some people hear voices… Some see invisible people… Others have no imagination whatsoever.  

Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. ~ P. J. O’Rourke  

Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.  

Sorry I missed church. I’ve been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.  

Oh, no!!  Not another learning experience!  

Just say NO to negativity.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability. ~ Ron White  

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.~ Samuel Butler  

Stable relationships are for horses.  

I am a deeply superficial person.  

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.  

If your beauty is on the inside, turn yourself inside out.