October 2011
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Day October 23, 2011

The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee. ~ Polish proverb

And Nathan said to David, ‘Thou art the man’. ~ Bible, 2 Samuel 12:7 Hence, today’s idiom, “You da man…!”  

Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?  

Whenever I’m sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches… ~ Anonymous

Even people that believe in predestination look both ways before crossing the street. ~ Stephen Hawking

If I owe Smith ten dollars and God forgives me, that doesn’t pay Smith. ~ Robert Green Ingersoll  

What color is a chameleon on a mirror?  

Q: How do you spell “onomatopoeia”? A: The way it sounds  

Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Opportunity. Don’t be silly–opportunity doesn’t knock twice!  

Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.  

As of 1992, they’re called European Economic Community fries.  

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly:  You know dear, you may be right.  

A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves. ~ Edward R. Murrow  

If a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money that it values more, it will lose that, too. ~ Somerset Maugham  

It is not the business of government to make men virtuous or religious, or to preserve the fool from the consequences of his own folly. Government should be repressive no further than is necessary to secure liberty by protecting the equal rights of each from aggression on the part of others, and the moment governmental […]

Religion is the opiate of the masses. ~ Karl Marx Winners don’t do drugs. ~ the FBI  

I was high on life, but eventually I built up a tolerance.  ~ Arj Barker  

I don’t drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.  ~ Robert Downey, Jr.  

Status quo, you know, that is Latin for the mess we’re in. ~ Ronald Reagan

I was a boring child. Whenever we played doctor, the other children always made me the anesthesiologist. ~ Rita Rudner  

It is harder to crack a prejudice than an atom. ~ Albert Einstein  

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. ~ Phyllis Diller  

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. ~ H. L. Mencken  

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. ~ Arthur C. Clarke  

Insanity in individuals is something rare–but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche