October 2011
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Day October 9, 2011

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’  ~ Conan O’Brien

The only two things I don’t eat for breakfast are lunch and dinner.

I went on a diet. Actually I had to go on two diets at the same time ’cause one diet wasn’t giving me enough food. ~ Barry Marter  

I have an 18-year-old; her name is Alexis.  I chose that name because if I hadn’t had her, I’d be driving one.  ~ Robin Fairbanks  

If it weren’t for capitol punishment, we wouldn’t have Easter. ~ Bill Hicks  

Pregnancy is amazing.  To think, you can create a human being with just the things you have around the house. ~ Shang  

The first time I walked into a trophy shop, I looked around and thought to myself, ‘This guy is good!’ ~ Fred Wolf  

I used to be driven, but I pulled over. ~ Heidi Joyce  

Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge? They’re there for those who don’t drink.  ++  

Did you hear about the blonde that sold her car for gas money?  ++  

Playboy is coming out with a new magazine for men who are married.  Every month the centerfold is the exact same woman.    ++  

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way. ~ Sam Levenson  

Theory and Practice

“In theory, practice is simple” ~ Trygve Reenskaug   “But, is it simple to practice theory?” ~ Alexandre Boily   “The difference between Theory and Practice is, in theory, somewhat smaller than in practice.” ~ Frank Westphal   “I want to move to theory. Everything works in theory.” ~ John Cash  

If you never step over the line, you’ll never find out where it is. ~ Anonymous