July 2011
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Day July 20, 2011

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.  

I try to be positive.  Except on medical tests.  

Sometimes I wonder if it would be different if I HAD forwarded those chain emails.  

A recent study has shown that two in one people are schizophrenics.  

Statistics show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette.  

The wife says a man who has lost 90% of his thought process is commonly referred to as a widower.  

Feeling a little drowsy…I’m sure there’s a nap for that.  

I bought a piece of furniture last night, but when I woke up it was gone.  Who knew they made one night stands!?  

FACT:  sharks will only attack you if you are wet.  

Why do you never see any midgets in prison? Is it because they get much shorter sentences?  

If you can’t keep in sight, at least keep in touch.  

Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant