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Day May 29, 2011

It is so very hard to be an on-your-own-take-care-of-yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.  

You’ll never see all the places, or read all the books, but fortunately, they’re not all recommended.  

Life is made up of small pleasures. Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently. And if you don’t collect all these tiny successes, the big ones don’t really mean anything. ~ Norman Lear  

My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical–nobody at work has ever mentioned it.  

Women  say men are like mascara; they usually run at the first sign of emotion.

You know that feeling when you exercise so much you can hardly move?  Me either.

You’d think that after all these years of practice, I’d be good at waking up by now.  

Test a psychic’s ability with a knock-knock joke.  If they say “Who’s there?”–leave immediately.

I used to say that I wanted to make ridiculous amounts of money.  I think I should have chosen my words better.  

The first 30 years of marriage are the hardest.  I thought…  

This is so sad. Please put this on your status if you know someone or are related to someone, who suffers from stupidity. People need to understand that stupidity is real and should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a sufferer right now. There is no cure for stupidity and sympathy doesn’t […]

Woman’s equality to man is not a claim . . . rather a concession.  

  I’ve got a girlfriend with ribbons in her hair. Now what could be better than that? ~ Talking Heads ["Stop Making Sense"]  

To find fault with a person’s intellect you must first find their intellect.  

The concept of evil is evil. ~ Anonymous

Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. ~ Jordan Yuscavage  

When the rain falls, it don’t fall on one man’s house! ~ Bob Marley