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Day May 10, 2011

Live in a world of your own, but always welcome visitors.  

‘Impossible’ is not a scientific term. ~ Vanna Bonta  

Familiarity breeds attempt.  

Everyone talks about apathy, but no one does anything about it. ~ Anonymous  

Predestination was doomed from the start. ~ Anonymous  

There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.  

Nobody wants constructive criticism.  It’s all we can do to put up with constructive praise. ~ Anonymous  

Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools–and use it on the teachers. ~ P. J. O’Rourke  

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat–in other words, turn you into an adult. ~ P. J. O’Rourke    ++  

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. ~ P. J. O’Rourke  

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ~ Groucho Marx  

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ~ Groucho Marx  

I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. ~ Groucho Marx  

Another term for balloon is bad breath holder. ~ Demetri Martin  

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist.  She did everybody. ~ Jay London  

I model irregular clothing. ~ Jay London  

I went to an audition the other day; they were casting 13 people to be clouds.  14 people showed up, it was overcast. ~ Jay London  

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. ~ Jay London  

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. ~ Jay London   ++  

I’m convinced my cockroaches have military training; I set off a roach bomb–they diffused it. ~ Jay London