May 2011
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Day May 4, 2011

I’m struck by how laughter connects you with people.  It’s almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you’re just howling with laughter.  Laughter is a force for democracy. ~ John Cleese  

Real Christians do not carry their religion, their religion carries them.  It is not weight, it is wings. ~ Harry Emerson Fosdick  

Since the Creator has made the facts of the after-life inaccessible to man, He must not have required that man understand death in order to live fruitfully. ~ Daniel J. Boorstin  

Beware how you take away hope from any human being. ~  Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.  

It is only life and love that give love and life.  ~ Elbert Hubbard  

Making men live in three worlds at once–past, present, and future has been the chief harm organized religion has done.  ~ Elbert Hubbard  

Common sense in an uncommon degree is what the world calls wisdom. ~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge  

Rees’s Second Law of Quotation:  However sure you are that you have attributed a quotation correctly, an earlier source will be pointed out to you.  

When I was a kid the “parental control” button was a belt.

If you need a Facebook application to tell you what cereal you are, I’ll save you the suspense…you’re a Fruit Loop.

ME:  Doctor, I been having some trouble with my hearing.   Doc:  Can you describe the symptoms.   Me:  Sure. Marge has blue hair, and Homer is fat!

If you only remember one thing today, remember this.  

When you really think about it, you’ve never seen me and Superman in the same room, have you?

We had social networking when I was a kid, too.  Back then it was called “outside.”

I like to believe the spell Czech on my computer has never felled me.

I hate being asked if I’ve had any “past experience.”  Is there any other kind?

There’s nothing wrong with me that reincarnation won’t cure.  

Past, Present and Future walked into a bar.  It was tense.

Warning! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines…

Every day of my life is like an episode of LOST, something crazy always happens and I never have any idea what’s going on.

The only thing worse than having a song stuck in your head for an entire day is not knowing the name of the song.

The word bed looks like a bed.  

I changed the name of my hard drive to ‘that thang,’ so once a month, my computer asks me if I want to back that thang up.

BREAKING NEWS:  Cheese factory explodes–nothing left but de Brie.

When the checkout person tries to put your toilet paper in a bag, tell them it’s ‘for here,’ not ’to go.’  Then ask them to hurry.