April 2011
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Month April 2011

Out of my mind.  Back in five minutes.    ++  

Laugh at your problems; everybody else does.  

Dangerous guys, those dinosaurs.  Foot-prints there are, but no finger-prints.  

I love my paper shredder.  It makes me feel like my trash is important.  

I need someone really bad.  Are you really bad? ~ Anonymous  

They make you think smoking marijuana makes you paranoid. ~ Anonymous  

Oh yeah? If you’re so smart, why don’t I understand you? ~ Anonymous  

I don’t trust statistics.  Never try to cross a river that has an average depth of 4 feet. ~ Anonymous  

Most of my faults are not my fault. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant  

Yesterday’s bread is tomorrow’s croûtons. ~ Malcolm McLaren  

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.  

All my life I said I wanted to be someone… I can see now that I should have been more specific. ~ Jane Wagner

Did you hear about the guy who thought asphalt was a rectal problem?  

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?    ++  

Never separate the life you live from the words you speak. ~ Paul Wellstone  

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. ~ Robert Orben  

He who is eternally without desire perceives the spiritual side of it;  He who is permanently with desire perceives the limit of it. ~ Laozi  

You shall judge of a man by his foes as well as by his friends. ~ Joseph Conrad  

What makes equality such a difficult business is that we only want it with our superiors. ~ Henry Becque  

Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength. ~ Hasidic Proverb  

No man is responsible for his father. That is entirely his mother’s affair. ~ Margaret Trumbull  

They are able because the think they are able. ~ Virgil  

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it. ~ Jean Paul Sartre  

It is much easier to be critical than to be correct. ~ Benjamin Disraeli  

Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything. ~ Sydney Smith  

You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a “realist” he is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing. ~ Sydney Harris  

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. ~ C.S. Lewis  

Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow  

A statesman is a politician who places himself at the service of the nation. A politician is a statesman who places the nation at his service. ~ Georges Pompidou  

You don’t write because you want to say something; you write because you’ve got something to say. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald  

Where you invest your love, you invest your life. ~ Mumford and Sons  

…and I wonder during these days how God felt when He lost His son. ~ Kyle Matthews

It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work. ~ William Faulkner  

I’m so old they’ve canceled my blood type. ~ Bob Hope    ++  

Money is just the poor man’s credit card. ~ Marshall McLuhan  

Achievement brings its own anticlimax. ~ Maya Angelou  

Age considers; youth ventures. ~ Rabindranath Tagore  

Living with a saint is more grueling than being one. ~ Christian Nestell Bovee    ++  

Good men have the fewest fears.  He has but one great fear who fears to do wrong; he has a thousand who has overcome it. ~ Christian Nestell Bovee  

Television:  A three- to four- to five-hour experience with nothingness. ~ Frederic Glezer  

A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary. ~ Thomas Caruthers    ++  

I see your IQ test results were negative.  ++  

Vermont, admitted as the 14th state in 1791, was the 1st addition to the original 13 colonies.  Wyoming was the first state to allow women to vote.  

A fetus acquires fingerprints at the age of three months.  

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. ~ John W. Whitehead    ++  

I just heard the government is putting an extra 40% tax on aspirin because it’s white and it works. ~ Anonymous  

Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. ~ E. B. White    ++  

I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day. ~ E. B. White  

Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. ~ E. B. White     ++  

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. ~ E. B. White