April 2011
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Day April 5, 2011

Advertising must be trite–it’s the law of the jingle.  

All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. ~ D. W. Jones  

Be careful–the last person using this keyboard had a terminal disease.  

Did you say “Child of a Looser God” or “Child of a Loser God?”  

Christopher Robin Hood steals from the rich and gives to the Pooh.  

Cogito Ergo Spud–I think, therefore I yam.  

Computer Technicalities–it’s all geek to me.  

Have an affair.  It’ll help break up the monogamy.  

I grew up on Mt. Everest and everything’s been downhill since.  

I’m a Zen nudist–I’m naked in my own mind.  

Incorrigible Punster–do not incorrige.  

Nice computers don’t go down.  

Purranoia:  the fear your cats are up to something.  

Sick, sick, sick–the humor of the Beast.  

To thine own self be cool.  

What do you get if you have thirteen witches in a hot tub?  A self-cleaning coven.  

When I knead my friends, they turn their backs.  

Is that a raw fish in your pocket, or are you happy sashimi?  

I want to move to theory.  Everything works in theory. ~ John Cash  

What did the surgeon say to the patient who wanted to close his own incision?  Suture self.  

Today on Paperview:  The World Origami Championship.  

What sexually transmitted disease can you get from a hand puppet?  The clap.  

The email of the species is deadlier than the mail.  

I believe in gravity.  It always lets me down.  

When the Devil goes bald, there will be hell toupee.  

The Bible talks about St. Paul, but never mentions Minneapolis.  

Why are pirate jokes funny? They just ARRRRRR.  

Metaphors be with you.  

The volume of a pizza of thickness ‘a’ and radius ‘z’ is given by pi*z*z*a.  

ZenCrafters: Total enlightenment in about an hour!