February 2011
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Day February 4, 2011

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever. ~ Anonymous

For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill. ~ R. Clopton

It’s not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. ~ Phil White

An “acceptable” level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.

60 isn’t old.  If you’re a tree.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I’m home now, but leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out. ~ Steven Wright  ++

If you don’t like my opinion of you, you can always improve. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant  ++

I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it. ~ Ashleigh Brilliant

The temperature of a car’s seat is inversely proportional to the length of your skirt or shorts.

Bad is never good until worse happens. ~ Danish proverb

Don’t make someone your Everything, because when they’re gone, you’ll have Nothing.

You can turn dollars into cents, and sense into dollars, though not dollars into sense.

Being dead right doesn’t make you any less dead.

People are always available for work in the past tense.  ++

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.  ++

Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

I intend to live forever…so far, so good. ~ Steven Wright

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. ~ Steven Wright

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? ~  Steven Wright

God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh. ~ Voltaire

If  love is the answer could you please repeat the question? ~ Lily Tomlin

Mother Nature is not a vegetarian.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein

Better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt. ~ Mark Twain

Silence is golden. Make me a millionaire. ~ Ernest Buchanan