January 2011
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Day January 20, 2011

Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you will be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

What do gardeners do when they retire? ~ Bob Monkhouse

My father only hit me once–but he used a Volvo. ~ Bob Monkhouse

They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now. ~ Bob Monkhouse

Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? ~ Bob Monkhouse

If you want to make enemies, try to change something. ~ Woodrow Wilson

The secret of being tiresome is to tell everything. ~ Voltaire

We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about. ~ Charles Kingsley

Adopt the pace of nature, her secret is patience. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds, and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides, and shrugs; an optimist doesn’t see the clouds—he’s walking on them. ~ Leonard Louis Levinson

History is the short trudge from Adam to atom. ~ Leonard Louis Levinson

Art produces ugly things which frequently become more beautiful with time. Fashion, on the other hand, produces beautiful things which always become ugly with time. ~ Jean Cocteau

Adversity draws men together and produces beauty and harmony in life’s relationships, just as the cold of winter produces ice-flowers on the window-panes, which vanish with the warmth. ~ Jean Kerr

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speak by something outside himself like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks. ~ Jean Kerr

When the grandmothers of today hear the word “Chippendales,” they don’t necessarily think of chairs. ~ Jean Kerr

Listen if you want to be heard. ~ John Wooden

It’s not so important who starts the game but who finishes it. ~ John Wooden

The Purple Cow

I never saw a Purple Cow; I never hope to see one; But I can tell you, anyhow, I’d rather see than be one. ~ Gelett Burgess

As for you, my galvanized friend, you want a heart. You don’t know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable. ~ L. Frank Baum, The Wizard of Oz

One picture is worth a thousand words. ~ Frederick R. Barnard, “Printers’ Ink” March 10, 1927

A group of young men broke into a drugstore yesterday and stole the entire stock of Viagra.  Police are on the look-out for a gang of hardened criminals. ~ Anonymous

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least someone is listening. ~ Franklin Jones

In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments–there are consequences. ~ Robert G. Ingersoll

The human race likes to give itself airs. One good volcano can produce more greenhouse gases in a year than the human race has in its entire history. ~ Ray Bradbury

Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts. ~ Albert Einstein

A man who thinks of himself as belonging to a particular national group in America has not yet become an American. ~ Woodrow Wilson

I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears. ~ Edgar Allan Poe

Drugs have taught an entire generation of kids the metric system. ~ P.J. O’Rourke

There are only two kinds of people in this world. The realists and the dreamers. The realists know where they are going and the dreamers have already been there. ~ Robert Orben

I was awfully curious to find out why I didn’t go insane. ~ Abraham Maslow

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself. ~ Abraham Maslow

A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting. ~ Abraham Maslow

I love that we can speak the same in 1,000 words, or a single glance, or a touch. ~ Larry Wiezycki

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you’re anxious to meet people who do. ~ Henry Kissinger

One of My All-Time Favorites…

Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not. Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not. Unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not. The world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence, determination and hard work make the difference. ~ Calvin Coolidge

Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality. ~ Ralph Marston

Give up for a second and that is where you will finish.

Creating success is tough but keeping it is tougher. ~ Pete Rose

I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor… rich is better. ~ Beatrice Kaufman

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. ~ J.R.R. Tolkien (Bilbo Baggins)

Friends are God’s ways of apologizing for our families. ~ Anonymous

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn’t be done. ~ Sam Ewing

Hard work spotlights the character of people; some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all! ~ Sam Ewing