January 2011
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Month January 2011

He who is in love with himself has at least this advantage—he won’t encounter many rivals. ~ Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

If you would lift me up, you must be on higher ground. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing is improbable until it moves into the past tense. ~ George Ade

I am continually fascinated at the difficulty intelligent people have in distinguishing what is controversial from what is merely offensive. ~ Nora Ephron

Of course I’m against sin; I’m against anything that I’m too old to enjoy. ~ Anonymous

I’ve been things and seen places. ~ Mae West

Many have too much, but none enough. ~ Danish Proverb

Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side. ~ François de La Rochefoucauld

To be together, you need TO-GET-HER.

Sun follows rain, strength follows pain…Sun follows rain, time heals the pain. ~ Brenda Russell

There are two fools in every market:  one asks too little, one asks too much. ~ Russian proverb

If it’s painful for you to criticize your friends, you’re safe in doing it; if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that’s the time to hold your tongue. ~ Alice Duer Miller

There are times when forgetting can be just as important as remembering, and even more difficult. ~ Harry and Joan Miller

Humor comes from self-confidence. ~ Rita Mae Brown

It is easy to perform a good action, but not easy to acquire a settled habit of performing such actions. ~ Aristotle

There are some days I practice positive thinking.  And other days I’m not positive I am thinking. ~ John M. Eades

People’s attitudes have been changing over the past 15 years, but China is still the world’s biggest consumer of dogs. ~ Jill Robinson

There are too many mediocre things to deal with.  Love shouldn’t be one of them. ~ Jill Robinson

There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path! ~ Morpheus (The Matrix)

There is truth in humor, but not humor in truth.

The trouble with man is two-fold; he cannot learn truths which are too complicated… he forgets truths which are too simple.

The way you see people is the way you treat them. And the way you treat them is what they become. ~ Goethe

The world would run a lot smoother if more men knew how to dance.

Every luxury must be paid for, and everything is a luxury, starting with being in the world. ~ Cesare Pavese

Anything unrelated to elephants is irr-elephant.

Don’t think of it as sleeping with your professor… think of it as “acing Biology.”

WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:  The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

Always Room for a Couple of Beers

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a “VERY LARGE” and empty mayonnaise jar. He proceeded to fill it with rocks, which were about 2 inches in diameter. He filled the jar to the top! He then asked the students […]

Some things are easier to legalize than to legitimize. ~  Sébastien-Roch Nicolas De Chamfort

The lyf so short, the craft so longe to lerne. ~ Geoffrey Chaucer

There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has not yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Let me forget about today until tomorrow. ~ Bob Dylan

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable. ~ Robert A. Heinlein

My ambition is handicapped by my laziness. ~ Charles Bukowski

I am a little shy of any assumption of moral indignation; there is always in it an element of self-satisfaction which makes it awkward to anyone who has a sense of humor. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Has it not occurred to you that clinical examination of oneself is yet another obsession? What you dissect has to be dead first–that’s the principle of dissection, after all. ~ Steven Erikson

All of the true things that I am about to tell you are shameless lies. ~ Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Talking nonsense is the sole privilege mankind possesses over the other organisms. It’s by talking nonsense that one gets to the truth! I talk nonsense, therefore I’m human. ~ Fyodor Dostoevsky

It is possible to be homesick for a Time, and to be lonely for the only other person who could recall it. ~ Robin Hobb

Brain damage is all in your head. ~ Karl Lehenbauer

Got a dictionary?  I want to know the meaning of life.

A right is not what someone gives you;  it’s what no one can take from you. ~ Ramsey Clark

You feel a whole lot more like you do now than you did when you used to.

The only real difference between men and women is that men are crabby all month long.

In 1750 Issac Newton became discouraged when he fell up a flight of stairs.

You want me to put holes in my ears and hang things from them?  How…tribal.

If he learns from his mistakes, it won’t be long before he’ll know everything.

One never sees a monument to a committee.

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results. ~ Calvin Coolidge