December 2010
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Day December 29, 2010

If people were meant to go around naked, they would have been born that way. ~ Playboy

They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it. ~ Gracie Allen    ++

It infuriates me to be wrong when I know I’m right. ~ Moliere

Christmas is at our throats again. ~ Noel Coward

Farting DOES NOT constitute “aroma therapy.” ~ Adrienne Gusoff

Any woman who thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is aiming about ten inches too high. ~ Adrienne Gusoff

Not only is life a bitch, but it is always having puppies. ~ Adrienne Gusoff

Mellow is the man who knows what he’s been missing. ~ Led Zeppelin

A painter paints pictures on canvas.  But musicians paint their pictures on silence. ~ Leopold Stokowski

You’ll never get ahead of anyone as long as you try to get even with him. ~ Lou Holtz

I am what I am.  Are you what you are or What? ~ Alanis Morissette

Ignorance killed the cat.  Curiosity was framed. ~ C.J. Cherryh

Why is American beer served cold?  So you can tell it from urine. ~ David Moulton

Save Your Breath … You’ll need it to blow up your date!    ++

When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes. ~ Henry Miller

Do I mind if you smoke? I don’t care if you burn to the ground!

The other day they asked me about mandatory drug testing.  I said I believed in drug testing a long time ago.  All through the sixties I tested everything. ~ Bill “The Spaceman” Lee

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I’ll be at the airport. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Sex and politics are a lot alike. You don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them. ~ Senator Barry Goldwater

After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.

Christmas is a time when everyone wants his past forgotten and the present remembered! ~ Anonymous

What I do today is important because I am exchanging a day of my life for it.

To succeed in life, you need three things:  a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone!    ++

The world will never starve for want of wonders, but for want of wonder. ~ G. K. Chesterton

Being pessimistic makes you a less hopeful person, but almost always a correct one. ~  Andy Bodine

Two words that guys hate…”don’t” and “stop”…unless you put them together.

To love someone is to see him as God intended him. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Very Good Friends can do anything together, but only BEST Friends can do nothing together. ~ Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.  ”What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line. “Well, I’m a lawyer, […]

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. ~  Bruce Lee