December 2010
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun
« Nov   Jan »

Day December 16, 2010

Nobody can stop you but you. And shame on you if you’re the one who stops yourself. ~ Damon Wayans

You’re so ugly, when you go into the bank they turn off the surveillance cameras.

When you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you. ~ Andy Rooney

You should never say no to a gift from a child. ~ Andy Rooney

Just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day. ~ Andy Rooney

Claustrophobia:  The fear of Santa Claus.

Bozone:  The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Blamestorming:  Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.     ++

Avoidable: What a matador tries to do.  ++

Old Butchers never die, they just meat somewhere else.

Old bond investors never die, they just yield to maturity.     ++

Old academics  never die, they just lose their faculties.

Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. ~ Anonymous

Experimental psychologist:  A scientist who pulls habits out of rats. ~ Leonard Louis Levinson

Censor:  A man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. ~ Laurence Peter

You don’t die of a broken heart, you only wish you did. ~ Marilyn Peterson

If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?  ~ Sydney J. Harris

Sticks and stones may break your bones when there’s anger to impart. /  Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart. ~Anonymous

The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps! ~ Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945

There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion. ~ Gen. William Thornson, U.S. Army

Fear is the enemy of logic. There is no more debilitating, crushing, self-defeating, sickening thing in the world–to an individual or to a nation. ~Frank Sinatra

You gotta love livin’, baby, ’cause dyin’ is a pain in the ass. ~ Frank Sinatra

You treat a lady like a dame, and a dame like a lady. ~ Frank Sinatra

Dear Santa.  All I want for Christmas this year is thick hair and a thin body. Please don’t get it mixed up like you did last year… ~ Anonymous

A drink a day keeps the shrink away. ~ Edward Abbey

Society is like a stew.  If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top. ~ Edward Abbey

Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they’d be intolerable. ~ Edward Abbey