November 2010
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Day November 21, 2010

Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger. ~  Dave Letterman

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who’s got the smallest. ~ Neil Kinnock

Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. ~ Bill Maher

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean. ~ G. K. Chesterton

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. ~ Albert Einstein

Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying. ~ Anonymous

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. ~ Dale Carnegie

Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future and renders the present inaccessible. ~ Maya Angelou

I live in my own little world, but it’s OK, they know me here.  ++

Recycling one glass jar saves enough energy to watch television for 3 hours!

What do you call the children of couch potatoes? Tater Tots    ++

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

You know how most packages say “Open here”. What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?    ++

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.     ++

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. ~ Henry Kissinger

There are two kinds of people, those who do the work, and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there. ~ Indira Ghandhi   ++

The business of preaching is to comfort the disturbed and to disturb the comfortable.  ++

If evolution was true, mothers would have more than two hands.    ++

I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say. ~ Marshall McLuhan

The death of one is a tragedy; the death of millions is just a statistic. ~ Joseph Stalin

The only people who don’t change their minds are either incompetent or dead. ~ Everett Dirkson

The difference between try and triumph is a little umph. ~ Anonymous

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. ~ Abigail Van Buren

All kids are gifted; some just open their packages earlier than others. ~ Michael Carr

A smile is the light in the window of your face that tells people you’re at home. ~ Anonymous

A laugh is a smile that bursts. ~ Mary H. Waldrip

The soul is healed by being with children. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky    ++

Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn’t like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good. ~ Lora Brody

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment. ~ Catherine Aitken    ++

People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. ~ Dalai Lama

You better live every day like it’s your last day, because one day you’re doing to be right. ~ Ray Charles

My wife was too beautiful for words–but not for arguments. ~ John Barrymore   ++

If you see a snake, just kill it–don’t appoint a committee on snakes. ~ H. Ross Perot

Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.  ~ Anonymous

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers. ~ Anonymous

You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.

Whether women are better than men I cannot say—but I can say they are certainly no worse. ~ Golda Meir

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. ~ Phyllis Diller

The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post. ~ Thomas Holcroft

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. ~ Oscar Wilde

I’ve been on a calendar, but I’ve never been on time.  ~ Marilyn Monroe

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things. ~ Bible, Ecclesiastes 11:5

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago. ~ Bernard Berenson

You never get away, you only get someplace else.

Some people think a juggler is talented.  Could be a schizophrenic playing catch. ~ Bob Dubac    ++

I have been driven to my knees many times because there was no place else to go. ~ Abraham Lincoln

There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. ~ Anonymous

Oh heart, if one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body, answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains. ~ Kahlil Gibran