October 2010
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Day October 12, 2010

“If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.” ~ Steven Wright

“If God dropped acid, would he see people?” ~ Steven Wright

“I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time.’ So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.” ~ Steven Wright

“I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.” ~ Steven Wright

“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.” ~ Steven Wright

“I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.” ~ Steven Wright

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.” ~ Steven Wright

“I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.” ~ Steven Wright

“How young can you die of old age?”  ~ Steven Wright

“Hermits have no peer pressure.” ~ Steven Wright

“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” ~ Steven Wright

“Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don’t get it.” ~ Steven Wright

“Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?” ~ Steven Wright

“Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.”  ~ Steven Wright

“I am nobody.  Nobody is perfect.  Therefore, I must be perfect!” ~ Anonymous