October 2010
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Month October 2010

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. ~ Edward De Bono

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. ~ H. L. Mencken

Freedom of press is limited to those who own one. ~ H. L. Mencken

Q: What is George W. Bush’s position on Roe v Wade? A: He doesn’t care how black people leave New Orleans. ~ Anonymous

I used to wonder what was so holy about a silent night, now I have a child. ~ Anonymous

Christ is so cool. He’s born, I get presents. He dies, I get candy. ~ Anonymous

I am erotic. You are kinky. They are perverts. ~ Anonymous

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but I’m actively waiting for my problems to go away. ~ Anonymous

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ~ Anonymous

You know you’re getting older when you frequently find yourself telling people what a loaf of bread USED to cost. ~ Anonymous

You know you’re getting older You don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along. ~ Anonymous

You know you’re getting older Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. ~ Anonymous

You know you’re getting older when…90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. ~ Anonymous

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! ~ Anonymous

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.    ++

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? ~ Anonymous

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy. ~ Anonymous

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your…? ~ Anonymous

Always try to be modest and be proud of it! ~ Anonymous

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

I used to believe in forever . . . but forever was too good to be true. ~ Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne

And by and by Christopher Robin came to an end of things, and he was silent, and he sat there, looking out over the world, just wishing it wouldn’t stop. ~ Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne

Always watch where you are going.  Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake. ~ by Winnie the Pooh, ~ A. A. Milne

To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks. ~ by Winnie the Pooh, ~ A. A. Milne

For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and big words Bother me. ~ by Winnie the Pooh, ~ A. A. Milne

A fly can’t bird, but a bird can fly. ~ by Winnie the Pooh, ~ A. A. Milne

Rivers know this: there is no hurry.  We shall get there some day. ~ by Winnie the Pooh, ~ A. A. Milne

The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking. ~ A. A. Milne

If we don’t know life, how can we know death? ~ Confucius

A superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions. ~ Confucius

Veni, Vidi, Visa: I Came. I Saw. I Shopped.    ++

It is easy to be flexible when one is spineless! ~ Anonymous

If you want to be well liked never lie about yourself, and be careful when telling the truth about others. ~ Anonymous

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal. ~ Anonymous

If a man is called to be a street-sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.  He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, “Here lived a great street-sweeper who did his job well.” ~ Martin […]

He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. ~ Anonymous

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. ~ Billy Sunday

God creates a worm for every bird–but He does not throw it in the nest. ~ Anonymous

Give to a pig when it grunts and a child when it cries and you will have a fine pig and a bad child. ~ Danish Proverb

Fat people are harder to kidnap. ~ Anonymous

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. ~ Aldous Huxley

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak.  Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. ~ Winston Churchill    ++

May your trouble be like the old man’s teeth…few and far between. ~ Anonymous

Menstruation, menopause, mental breakdowns… Ever notice how all women’s problems begin with ‘men’? ~ Anonymous

Many folks know how to say nothing. Few know when. ~ Anonymous

No man ever injured his eyesight by looking on the bright side of things. ~ Anonymous  ++